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Because I live in London alone and have no friends that I can go to dinner with every time I go out to dinner, I am faced with the reality of dining alone in a restaurant or order takeout, which is really starting to get on my nerves. When you dine alone in a restaurant, you are providing a service to the other patrons. Everyone will enjoy staring at you and whispering about what a looser you are. They will feel good about themselves, and that will release endorphins in their brains so the food tastes better.

Kidding.

In reality the other diners are thinking what a confident and self-assured person you are to be eating all alone. They're discussing what a brilliant thinker and a generous lover you must be.

Kidding.

They really think you are a looser. The best you can do is to try to confuse their accurate perceptions by pretending to prefer eating alone. The most popular method, especially for women, is to bring reading materials and never look up. If you have hair that falls in your face, that's even better. The scenario works best when you have work-related boring-looking documents, a soncerned scowl and grimacing face. That makes you look like a powerful businessperson who is a force to be reckoned with. Not a looser.

The gutsiest lone-diner move has to be making contact with normal people at the next table and to try to hijack their conversation. If they are far away, this might involve some shouting. Listen for the mention of any geographic location, product or event that sounds familiar and then interject your own anecdote as though there is nothing unusual about you joining in. When someone gets up from that table to go to the restroom, take the empty chair and start ordering expensive wine for the table. The trick is to leave before the check arrives.